Living in Fear

My husband and I had an interesting conversation this weekend and I realized a common thread about fear and spirituality that may seem obvious, but one that I had overlooked all the same. I did not grow up believing in hell or a devil. I was taught that we are all loved beings on a mission for personal growth that in turn, brings us closer to our source. ( If you are of God, then all that you learn, experience, conceptualize, adds to the greater source that is God) So the concept of being fearful not to believe in God is foreign to me. I have long believed and science supports the idea, that fear has a debilitating effect on the body. When our fear is turned inward, we experience anxiety and depression. There is an actual physical and chemical response to that fear. Fear increases our heart rates, releases cortisol into our blood streams, which causes an avalanche of related symptoms, high blood pressure, increased weight, decreased weight, loss of appetite, etc. and the list goes on. So if that is the case, how are we ever to achieve spiritual tranquility if the very thing that is supposed to bring us comfort is rooted in fear? I have to admit, that I have steered clear of any religion that tells me that I am 'not worthy' or attempts to shame or scare me into believing something. I don't think it is at all possible to trust in anything fully that requires you fear it. I love my personal relationship with God. We talk almost daily and I feel supported and loved by this invisible force that governs my world. I am not at all afraid to admit that everyone has the opportunity to find peace in their hearts, no matter what they have done. I cannot and will not profess to know the inner workings of the universe. I cannot fathom the bigger picture of my life in its entirety, but I know that God has my back and that I am here to learn and to be challenged and if I am fearful, how will I ever triumph in my challenges? I cannot believe that is the point. I once had a very in depth conversation with a friend who expressed the idea that God and Allah were not the same. I don't agree with that. Common sense tells us that an apple is an apple in the U.S. or in Asia even though it is spoken in a different language. Is it really that much of a jump to assume that God would have more than one name given the wondrous variety of peoples that he created? Why would a creator want any of his creations to feel less than because of skin color, geography or dialect? I do not assume the worst, I never have. My husband teases me that I have an extremely beautiful view of the world and he is right. "So a man thinkth, so he is." God gave me a mind that questions and despite the atrocities that our species is capable of, I still see beauty and love and hope. Our greatest lessons are learned through hardship. We cannot have the human spirit lift us to new heights if there is nothing to rail against. It's a hard truth, but the bad supports the good and gives us the opportunity to grow. I have faith that no matter what test I give myself, there is something valuable for me to learn even if I don't see what it is in the beginning or ever. When the storm has passed and the wreckage lay all over the beach, I have the ability to say, "Ah, I see now." Even in those times when I think that something is unfair or that I would never have invited this turmoil or that pain into my life, months down the road, those lessons serve me and I am stronger for them. No, I don't think I'll live in fear. Instead, I choose to accept responsibility for my existence, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.